you know you wouldnt think a person in my posistion would be so happy with her life. i mean my mom came back, i dont know if she's staying, they've been fighting alot. mom said she'd probably get a apartment by herself. its selfish i know but i really only want her to get a job and help support me since dad just lost one of his jobs. he was working himself to death anyways. i didnt really want to tell anyone, i didnt want any pity for something im handling just fine. craigs been great, i dont think ive ever been treated with so much love... i hope this never ends. spent most of today at his grandfathers house with his uncles. such a happy atmosphere to me. no fear of yelling or fighting really... they seemed to like me. that made me really happy... so warm inside. id love to have a family like that. one that sits around and watches movies. maybe im exagerating but it just felt nice and warm. just the 5 of us... yeah. you know i rarely ever eat dinner with my family. i supose thats common now and days but still. itd be nice to have a family i didnt just tolerate.... nah thats almost every family isnt it? i make it sound like every other family gets along but... i want to live a life where i dont feel scared. i feel so happy when im around craig and his family like i have no problems or fears. he said as i was coming home that i was part of the family. that makes me feel warm... I hope it lasts. i think im in love and not just the idea of having a family that gets along with each other but... craigs just so good to me. he loves my perky personality others sometimes find annoying and loves how caring i am and never yells at me... he knows how sincere i am... and treats me the same. its wonderful. i hope this never ends. i love this attention and care im not used to. it might be selfish but i dont care, i needed the love to make me stop loathing myself... but everythings all better now... im loved and liked by more than a couple people i never see. its nice and all the pain and lonliness its taken me to get here, its worth it. its nice. life is nice